Mid 30's blues.

 As I get older I can feel myself turning into one of the gobshites that I detested when i was growing up. I'm now one of those nobs who has an opinion, whether I know something or not, I have an opinion and I want it to be heard. That's why I'm here blogging, with the vague notion that anyone gives a toss.

In my head I still imagine myself to be a young wiper snapper, able to neck down copious amounts of alcohol and drugs. In reality 2 pints of the black stuff and I'm already telling anyone who'll listen "my super theories on everything and anything". A night out takes me 2 to 3 days to recover. And drugs, bloody hell, one toke on a spliff and I'm either talking gibberish bollocks, or more than likely cowered in a corner paranoid about that glance you just gave me. Do people still use the word toke, is it "in", or did it go the same way as "mega"? What is "in", am I in, do I need inviting "in". From watching the telly "in" seems to be having no talent & wearing shit clothes.
Buying clothes is another chore that's filled with dread and annoyance. If I go to one of the so called trendy shops I have some teenage waif like minimum wage creature looking at me with disgust in their eyes, the pants I'm wearing are older than you, you little f**ker. None of the clothes fit because there all made with wasp waisted little tossers in mind. I choose my clothes with 2 things in mind, comfort and price. I wear Crocs for Christ sake, so style went out of the window a long time ago. Aren't Crocs comfy? You look like a complete prick when wearing them, but your feet are thankful.

There seems to be a pattern emerging that as the hair on my head go's, the hair on my back grows ten fold. And what's with my balls, when did they get so low? And where did the noise I make when sitting down come from? I used to be able to sit down without making a sound, in fact I prided myself on being one of the worlds quietest sitter down, but now when I sit AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH and I've no idea why. The more I think about it, anything comfortable makes strange noises sleek out of my mouth, slippers, a fluffy dressing gown, the settee all come with a guaranteed ARGH.